Changing stereotypes

What if...

What if you stopped believing the stereotype?

This is one of the biggest things I've decided to change my mind on that has had, is having, an enormous impact on my marriage.

This is a taboo subject, but for at least a few minutes let's pretend we are lifelong besties so I can give this to you! On my journey to taking control of my life instead of just letting it happen to me, I had work to do in EVERY area. When it came to marriage, one topic seemed to keep coming up in books, preaching and podcasts as well as just in my mind. Sex.

There's a lot of good sound biblical discussion on this. There's a whole book in the Bible celebrating marital sex! There's a lot of good scientific and psychological discussion.

Over and over, for months, I kept hearing overwhelmingly the differences between men and women when it comes to this. Men always want sex. They think about it more. They can be ready to go in a second. For women we need to be wooed throughout the day. We have a hard time shutting off our multitasking minds and leaving the day behind as we travel to the bedroom.  And there's some real truth and some important stuff to know. I'll leave links to some of the things I've enjoyed.

But, what if I choose not to believe my stereotype anymore? What if tonight, (and every night from here forward), I know my husband is ready and willing  and I meet him there. I don't wait for him to approach me and get caught off guard, too busy, with a headache. How will that change my marriage?

This isn't about doing something just to please your husband! (Although I assure you he is going to think he has died and gone to heaven!) This is for you! Think about the best sex you've had with your husband. Why can't you have that tonight? Tomorrow night? The next? You don't have to be on a romantic vacation. The kids don't have to be all gone for a sleepover! You have a bedroom with a lock on the door? Bathroom? Closet? Car?  Whatever! Spend your day thinking about all the wonderful things you love about your husband. Think about how good it has been. Has it never been good? You can change that too! Plan something new for how good it can be in the future! You are in control.

Don't give excuses about how he's this or that or you're this or that! YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE! Every part of it.

Are you tired of being too tired? Adjust your day so you won't be.

Tired of always having a headache? Take some ibuprofen. Drink more water.

Tired of fighting about not being in the mood and then he feels rejected? Get in the mood!

Tired of feeling self conscious about your body? News flash! He LOVES it! He's not looking at the spare tire or the stretch marks. He doesn't notice the new wrinkle or mole. Want a lingerie ready body? Put some lingerie on it! 

Every day! Every day be ready for what the evening could be like. What if EVERY night was a vacation in a Hawaiian bungalow? Why cheat yourself out of that?

The Bible says in Matthew 22:30 "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." What I get out of that is you better get all the sex in down here because once you get there it's too late!

Don't cheat yourself out of this gift! For a million reasons but here's 2.

1.) Sex is fun for BOTH of you.  Get rid of the mindset that it's a chore or he's gonna get more out of it. Who has control over that? YOU! You can make the change. You can love it every time! You can feel sexy in the skin you're in! You can give YOURSELF kidfree, beach side sex in your bedroom every night! Your mood will be better. Your skin will be better. And your marriage will be better!

2.) Fixing this one part of your marriage, sharing this much intimacy with your husband WILL overflow into other parts of your marriage! Now that you are so physically intimate, you will find yourselves wanting to be intimate in mind and spirit too. Remember those first days when you were so in love and wanted to be together every minute? What one fundamental thing changed? I'm gonna guess it's the amount of sex you have. Life happens. You get tired. You start believing lies! Remember YOU are a wonderful wife AND you have a wonderful husband!

After the mindset is changed, after you've made it your new normal, after you're husband gets over the fear that you're going to revert back to your old headache ridden self, you can skip a night or two, if you want to. 😉

Think of all the things your husband is and does that make you smile no matter how deep you have to reach
Send him sexy texts
Shop online for some new lingerie
Think of new places, positions, outfits, candles, baths whatever to keep it fresh and exciting.
Remember he thinks you are beautiful just the way you are!! (This was my biggest hangup that held me back. Game changer for me!)

 I promise if you will change this mindset, your marriage will completely transform!

https://castbox.fm/x/id65 (rise together podcast 38)

https://castbox.fm/x/-tFH (rise together podcast 32)

https://castbox.fm/x/15FFz (Love Worth Finding podcast celebrate the difference)