Believe

"There are a million things one might do with a block of wood. But what do you think might happen if someone, just once, believed in it?"
~Suzanne Weyn, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

If you haven't seen this movie or read the book, this block of wood was given to Manoney by Mr. Magorium and it spends most of the story sitting on a table. But at the end Henry is asking Mahoney if she really believes it is more than a piece of wood and in despair over Mr. Magorium's passing, she begins to enthusiastically defend that this block of wood is much more than a block of wood and in that moment it comes to life.

Do you believe in others like that? What if we all became encouragers? I believe that is something we are all capable of. It doesn't take any special gifting to offer someone a nice word about their appearance or behavior. How many people do you admire but have never mentioned it to them? Or maybe you have but why not do it again?

Have you ever felt like that block? Powerless to move because of other people's opinions of what you are or aren't capable of? Can you remember a time when a small word of encouragement brought you to life? What if you could be that for someone else today?

I believe in you! You are a beautiful wonderful person created in the image of a perfect and loving God with unique features and talents to be used on your unique path in this life. And if you don't have anyone in your life who regularly pours encouragement into your life 1.) You have a Savior waiting with open arms who thinks you are to die for. And 2.) Find new people!! Message me. We will do lunch!!

"The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

Thirty-seven Seconds

Mahoney: "Thirty-seven seconds. Great, well done; now we wait."
Mr. Magorium: "No. We breathe, we pulse, we regenerate. Our hearts beat, our minds create, our souls ingest. Thirty-seven seconds well used is a lifetime."
Suzanne Weyn, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (Movie Novelization)

I am so guilty of waiting my life away. Always looking forward to (or dreading) something upcoming and not being present in the moment. It takes a lot of self control and reminding yourself to live in the moment. But wouldn't it be nice.

How much more could we enjoy our loved ones? How much less would we worry? How many times have I said just a minute to my kids and worse how many times have they gotten tired of waiting and I missed it all together?

What thirty seven seconds can you show up for today?

"Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content."
Philippians 4:11

"He dies"

"When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." But because of the life we saw prior to the words. Now I am not asking you to be happy at my leaving but all I ask you to do is to turn the page and let the next story begin.

Jeff and I were sitting on the porch over the weekend and the subject of death came up. He started to say he's excited to go to heaven just not today but in the same breathe said he'd be happy to go today. I agreed and added that the only sad part about dying is that our loved ones are left to mourn.

Experiencing the death of our son has really taken the fear of death from us. I'm not sure what exactly causes that. Maybe it's that physical death could never be as painful as walking through that grief. Maybe it's the stark reality that when it's your time whether you're jumping out of a plane with no parachute or sleeping softly in your bed, you have to answer God's call. But whatever it is, by the grace of God, we have been able to turn the page and let the next chapter begin.

Are you stuck in grief? Or maybe life just hasn't gone how you pictured it would. You can turn the page! And you can write the next chapter however you choose! Choose joy! Choose Jesus! Let a new story begin!

"Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for Him."
Hebrews 9:27‭-‬28 NIV

Your Life is an Occasion. Rise to it.

 "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."
Mr. Magorium, Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

"If you say that someone rose to the occasion, you mean that they did what was necessary to successfully overcome a difficult situation."-Collins Dictionary

Life isn't easy. But it is what you make it. And your life is YOUR responsibility. Other people and events can make your life more challenging. Your response then should be to increase your effort.

Don't be a victim of your life. Take charge of it. WWJD? Be an overcomer!

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
John 16:33 NIV

Encouraging Words

This was something I read yesterday as part of a Bible Study on the YouVersion app and I just really love it. I love the phrase "we show love to show God." and the part about making awkward eye contact to see the hurt in other people's eyes. It's so simple to make a difference in someone's life but so much easier to stay in our comfort zones. Try to find someone today and this weekend and offer a smile or an encouraging words, invite them to church or for coffee. Take the chance to forget your own hurts by healing someone else's.

Threads of People (Part 2)

It is our turn to be Jesus to this world. We exist for God and for those who need God. Within the church, we use our gifts to build up and equip the body. Outside of the church, we show love to show God.

Next time you are in a public space, be awkward and look in people’s eyes. People, nearly every one of them, are hurting, even if they don’t say it. And we hold armfuls of their cure. We get God, and we get to give God away; it is for our joy. I am never more content than when I am meeting need. "I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."
 Luke 5:32

In the movie Amazing Grace, William Pitt’s character races barefoot through a field with William Wilberforce and says to him “Why is it you only feel the thorns in your feet when you stop running?” When we run for God and for people, we forget for just a moment about ourselves, and it feels amazing. Nothing makes a soul sicker than too much time given to itself.

So who needs God around you?

Pray.
Pursue them.
Ask them great questions.
Share your struggles and your God.
Dream of ways you can meet their needs.

There will be people you know who need you. But also seek out relationships with people outside your circles. Some of my favorite moments in my life have happened as I have stepped out of my comfort zone. Like taking some women from a local halfway house out to bowl with some of my friends. I remember sitting in a bowling alley with a woman just out of prison who exuded more joy than I remember ever feeling in my life. Her joy and perspective changed me-and I needed to be changed. God’s economy makes beautiful exchanges: as we give, we grow.

Seek the uncomfortable. Life is short, and it is worth the risk. You do not risk like a fool; you are wisely investing in the only two things that will not die: God and people. No better reason to make piddling a thing of the past.

Respond:

Prayerfully create a list of five names of people who need you. How can you begin to invest more in these people?

What are some practical ways you can keep all your time from going to casual friendships?

Adapted from Restless Bible Study Guide by Jennie Allen

Water your own grass

Today I want to brag on my favorite person. This morning I had to get up and out of the house early and this was waiting for me in the kitchen! He is so good at loving me. Snacks and attention is he's theory about what girls like and I think he may be on to something. ❤️

 If I'm honest of the 8,502 days we've lived together, there's been a few I wouldn't have called him my favorite person. But it wasn't as much his fault as mine.

Marriage is hard work every day. And for a long time I was doing the work wrong. It's not about how I can change him to fit my needs. All I control is how I can change myself to better serve him.

What is your spouses love language? How can you feed that? What things could you take off their shoulders to make their day easier? The thing that drives you nuts about them, what fear, insecurities or childhood coping mechanism could that come from and how can you love them through it? What lies does the devil tell you about them and what truth can you proclaim instead?

The truth is you are a wonderful wife and he is a wonderful  husband!

Try making a list of all the good things. It's so easy to get so focused on the faults that we miss all the good stuff. Make a game with a friend about who's husband is better and text each other all the sweet things he does so you will learn to look for those things!

How many awesome days have you wasted being mad or feeling sorry for yourself? Are you gonna keep waiting on him to change while living a deafeated life or are you gonna look for that plank in your own eye and fix what you control? You're choice. He's the love of your life and he's worth it!!! Water your own grass!

Changing stereotypes

What if...

What if you stopped believing the stereotype?

This is one of the biggest things I've decided to change my mind on that has had, is having, an enormous impact on my marriage.

This is a taboo subject, but for at least a few minutes let's pretend we are lifelong besties so I can give this to you! On my journey to taking control of my life instead of just letting it happen to me, I had work to do in EVERY area. When it came to marriage, one topic seemed to keep coming up in books, preaching and podcasts as well as just in my mind. Sex.

There's a lot of good sound biblical discussion on this. There's a whole book in the Bible celebrating marital sex! There's a lot of good scientific and psychological discussion.

Over and over, for months, I kept hearing overwhelmingly the differences between men and women when it comes to this. Men always want sex. They think about it more. They can be ready to go in a second. For women we need to be wooed throughout the day. We have a hard time shutting off our multitasking minds and leaving the day behind as we travel to the bedroom.  And there's some real truth and some important stuff to know. I'll leave links to some of the things I've enjoyed.

But, what if I choose not to believe my stereotype anymore? What if tonight, (and every night from here forward), I know my husband is ready and willing  and I meet him there. I don't wait for him to approach me and get caught off guard, too busy, with a headache. How will that change my marriage?

This isn't about doing something just to please your husband! (Although I assure you he is going to think he has died and gone to heaven!) This is for you! Think about the best sex you've had with your husband. Why can't you have that tonight? Tomorrow night? The next? You don't have to be on a romantic vacation. The kids don't have to be all gone for a sleepover! You have a bedroom with a lock on the door? Bathroom? Closet? Car?  Whatever! Spend your day thinking about all the wonderful things you love about your husband. Think about how good it has been. Has it never been good? You can change that too! Plan something new for how good it can be in the future! You are in control.

Don't give excuses about how he's this or that or you're this or that! YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE! Every part of it.

Are you tired of being too tired? Adjust your day so you won't be.

Tired of always having a headache? Take some ibuprofen. Drink more water.

Tired of fighting about not being in the mood and then he feels rejected? Get in the mood!

Tired of feeling self conscious about your body? News flash! He LOVES it! He's not looking at the spare tire or the stretch marks. He doesn't notice the new wrinkle or mole. Want a lingerie ready body? Put some lingerie on it! 

Every day! Every day be ready for what the evening could be like. What if EVERY night was a vacation in a Hawaiian bungalow? Why cheat yourself out of that?

The Bible says in Matthew 22:30 "At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven." What I get out of that is you better get all the sex in down here because once you get there it's too late!

Don't cheat yourself out of this gift! For a million reasons but here's 2.

1.) Sex is fun for BOTH of you.  Get rid of the mindset that it's a chore or he's gonna get more out of it. Who has control over that? YOU! You can make the change. You can love it every time! You can feel sexy in the skin you're in! You can give YOURSELF kidfree, beach side sex in your bedroom every night! Your mood will be better. Your skin will be better. And your marriage will be better!

2.) Fixing this one part of your marriage, sharing this much intimacy with your husband WILL overflow into other parts of your marriage! Now that you are so physically intimate, you will find yourselves wanting to be intimate in mind and spirit too. Remember those first days when you were so in love and wanted to be together every minute? What one fundamental thing changed? I'm gonna guess it's the amount of sex you have. Life happens. You get tired. You start believing lies! Remember YOU are a wonderful wife AND you have a wonderful husband!

After the mindset is changed, after you've made it your new normal, after you're husband gets over the fear that you're going to revert back to your old headache ridden self, you can skip a night or two, if you want to. 😉

Think of all the things your husband is and does that make you smile no matter how deep you have to reach
Send him sexy texts
Shop online for some new lingerie
Think of new places, positions, outfits, candles, baths whatever to keep it fresh and exciting.
Remember he thinks you are beautiful just the way you are!! (This was my biggest hangup that held me back. Game changer for me!)

 I promise if you will change this mindset, your marriage will completely transform!

https://castbox.fm/x/id65 (rise together podcast 38)

https://castbox.fm/x/-tFH (rise together podcast 32)

https://castbox.fm/x/15FFz (Love Worth Finding podcast celebrate the difference)

Teapots

A couple of weeks ago I attended the Hearts on Fire women's conference at Unity Covenant church. My favorite moment was when Sharon Bowerman shared her teapot story. She is such a beautiful woman and this is such a beautiful story.

The first few seconds are missing where she begins that she was a little brown teapot sitting on a shelf. In case you can't listen to the video where you are right now she continues to tell of how the Master came into the room and takes her to the Potter's wheel where she became dizzy and uncomfortable and she begged Him to stop which eventually He did and then returned her to her shelf only to do it all again later. Then one day He picked her up and took her to a new room where she became extremely hot to the point of death and again begged Him to stop. Eventually He did and returned her to the shelf only to come back another day and put her through the same process. Finally one day the Master comes in to get her and takes her in to a room to be used for His service and she realizes how beautiful she's been made by all the trials.

This is such a beautiful picture of our lives in Christ. I have seen my fair share of struggle and no doubt there will be more but lately I've had something new inside of me that is exciting but I just haven't been able to figure out.

When I heard this story I just felt like I was in the place where I had been carried into the room to be used for the Masters service. I've been moulded, my cracks have been patched, I've been through the fire and come out in a vessel that is ready for service.

Where are you at? Are you dizzy and overwhelmed? Is the fire too hot and you just have nothing left to give? Or have you come out on the other side of the fire stronger and ready to help the other teapots?

No doubt the cycle could go in any number of ways. But also it's important to recognize that it's all temporary. Life comes in phases. Don't be discouraged in the bad times. They won't last forever. And don't rush the process on the shelf. You're gonna need to rest up for your next battle. Don't feel like you're not where you're supposed to be. Just trust that the Master will pick you up and place you in the room you are meant for at the right time. Do the work where you're at. It's all good and necessary. Trust Him.

https://youtu.be/hAaNKSwPoHM

You are not a trash can!

"...when they have really learned to love their neighbors as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbors." ~C.S. Lewis Screwtape Letters

How much time do you spend taking care of other people? How much time do you spend taking care of you? 

Here's my favorite things. I don't always get it done every day without fail but I feel better every day I succeed so I keep getting back on the horse. Don't quit because you had a bad week or even a bad year. If not today, when?

1.) Drink half your body weight in water every day!

2.) Move! Walk, run, go to the gym, do a YouTube workout, get a DVD, lift weights, dance, swim. My favorite is Erin OBrien's Strong Body Fit Body and I feel super proud if I get it done 5 days a week but don't hate myself if I get in 3.

3.) Stop eating the processed food! Stop drinking the diet soda! You are beautiful! You are worth it! You ARE NOT a trash can!!! If that sounds hard just start there. You can still have mac and cheese but buy the pasta and the cheese not the box with the powder. You can have mashed potatoes but boil them and mash them yourself. If you're already that far, try cutting something else. Maybe starchy foods, maybe dairy, or gluten. What makes sense to you? What food usually makes you tired, bloated, get a headache? Stop that one. Why treat yourself like that? You live in America. You can eat anything you want. Make it count for your health! Can't afford to eat healthy? Go to Aldi's.

4.) Stop naming sicknesses that no doctor can find! I can say that because I've struggled with it. It's a great excuse to do nothing or to feel sorry for yourself. But is that the way you want to live? Isn't life hard enough already? Not feeling great? Might I point out #'s 1, 2, & 3? What if you took charge of your health instead of letting your health happen to you?

The most enjoyable, encouraging person I can think of that could help you on this path is Dawn Mabry. You can just follow her on social for daily smiles and encouragement or send her a message to get some personalized coaching. I'm not sure exactly what that entails because she is the least pushy and least  annoying sales lady on the internet but I bet she'd be glad to tell you. *Also she doesn't necessarily agree with anything I've said above. I just decided to throw her name in because she inspires me!

Love

Speaking the truth as though it has already come to pass. This has helped me so much to achieve new goals. Specifically in my ongoing journey to control my tounge and stop being snippy with my kids. I found an old note the other day from 2004 where I was struggling with this. For at least 15 years of my life I've hated this about myself. When I was first trying to do this (this time), I explored several routes starting with reading parenting advice and writing down some good ideas and new habits but for me this is what has really made the difference.

We've all read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

But, what if I write this down every morning?

I am patient.
I am kind.
I am not jealous.
I don't brag.
I'm not proud.
I do not dishonor others.
I am not selfish.
I keep no record of wrongs.
I do not delight in evil.
I rejoice in the truth.
I always protect.
I always trust.
I always hope.
I always persevere.

It hits home. I start believing it. And I start living it. Not perfectly but you've got to start somewhere and small victories are still victories.

What can you start believing today?

Perspectives

We can't always change our situation but we can always change our perspectives.

There's this kids book called The Pout Pout Fish. In it the pout pout fish swims around with his lips puckered out and is approached by his friends one by one who encourage him to be happy. He continues to tell them he can't help it because he's a pout pout fish, it's just who he is. But at the end a girl fish swims up and gives him a smooch on his pouty lips and he decides he never was a pout pout fish but instead he's a kiss kiss fish!

Man, how one split second can open our eyes! I have a moment I think about often where I was just destitute, or so I thought. I sat down at the kitchen table just broken. But then I started to list things I was thankful for. It started pretty bleak. Not even I'm alive but just I'm not dead. But that tends to snowball pretty quickly and after 5 or 10 minutes, I was on top of the mountain. Nothing at all had changed except my perspective.

We have got to take those people and situations  that we have no control over and change the way we think about them. We can't change them but we can change ourselves!

What will you change your perspective on today and how will that change your life?